carbonated joy

When it came time to name the generations, we got a letter…
X.
Generation X…
We are the generation raised on Tang, Wonder Bread and Count Chocula.
That seems to have us given magical powers.
We seem to possess a special magic that has helped us, in our time on planet earth, see the unbelievable.
We are the wizards who have witnessed unimaginable change.
We grew up with Mr. Rogers AND the Cookie Monster. One taught us the magic of kindness, before we realized that the world was a scary place. One taught us the magic of sugary gluten, before we realized that we were probably allergic to it.
We were the original latch key kids. We survived big hair, Hammer pants, and Cabbage Patch Kids.
We saw the cutting edge video gameness of Pong evolve into the greatness of Frogger, Pac-man, and Galaga and way beyond. Magic only cost a quarter!
We ate Pop Rocks and Rocket Pops. We drank New Coke,Fresca and Tab.
We used plastic rotary dial phones to call on “party lines”. Then, it happened! We saw the first cell phones! They were as big as a loaf of bread, and people actually made phone calls with them!! There were no apps or texting, we’ve seen that all happen in our generation. We watched our phones get smart. They now contain more information than our public libraries…Strange cellular magic!!
We remember when social media meant a friendly newspaper reporter.
We saw video kill the radio star. We were there experiencing the magic of MTV when it actually played music videos!! We knew Madonna before she had a British accent. We knew John Mellencamp when he was a Cougar. We’ve seen some stereophonic stuff! We watched albums become 8 tracks, then cassettes, CDs and downloads! We watched the magical morphing of music. We remember Freddie Mercury, Michael Jackson, Joey Ramone, Whitney, David Bowie and Prince when they were prime. They have left the dance floor, but we still hear the beat because it’s magic.
We remember life before the internet. We had to copy reports straight from the encyclopedia on college ruled notebook paper, we somehow managed to get through school without google…magic!!
We remember the moonwalk, and the Space Shuttle explosion, and Casey Kasem telling us to keep reaching for the stars.
We remember theaters with TWO screens! We remember John Hughes movies. We remember seeing Star Wars for the first time and how it changed everything. We have witnessed that galaxy explode in story. Magical, it is!
During our time on this globe we have experienced both Herbie the love bug AND Hamilton the musical. How lucky we are to be alive right now!!
We have witnessed three TV channels and foil covered rabbit ears become five hundred channels of entertainment, sports, and news choices in high definition. And, you usually still can’t find anything good to watch.
We didn’t wear seat belts and we drank water out of garden hoses. We survived…magic!! We have seen airbags and bottled water come into being.
We have lost people we love to bullies like cancer and AIDS. We carry the magic of memory, it makes us stronger.
We carry a strong Gen X magic with us into the second half of our lifetimes. We aren’t afraid.
We have seen, heard, tasted, experienced, hurt, laughed, cried, and danced.
These are all very essential ingredients to the magic of real everyday life.
Everyday magic is made by surviving, and sharing our stories.
It’s a strange magic.
It’s amazing Gen X magic!

Get an ungrip.
Live with your hands open.
We try our hardest to keep a tight grip on life, situations and other people, but it always backfires!
We try to control and manipulate.
We get a grip.
We are determined to put people, circumstances, and things in what we perceive to be their place.
We try to take care of every detail and we hold on so tight that we aren’t able to grasp the things that really matter.
Maybe it’s time to get an ungrip.
We should get a pretty strong clue from the Creator who chose NOT to be a control freak. Instead, he gave his creation free will.
That lead to failure, and really bad choices.
It also led to unforced love and choices that really matter.
You CAN build something BIG while holding onto everything. You can pound with your closed fist and build big, impressive things, BUT, you will never build anything deep.
Deep requires you to relinquish control and hang out in the places where you can’t reach. It demands that you let go and go with the uncontrollable.
You can’t receive with a closed fist, you can only hold or punch.
We end up punching ourselves in the soul when we live with a closed fist. When we hold on too tightly to people, position, or process, we inadvertently tighten our grip on other things too.
We hold onto pride, self righteousness, hurt, anger, unforgiveness, offense.
We have to let go.
God can’t put anything into a closed fist. Our hands have to be open to receive from him. We have to be out of control, we have to let go, trust, give up. Relinquish control, live with your hands wide open so that you are able to receive.
Life and people were really never meant to be controlled.
It just leads to frustration.
You can let go or get dragged.
Get an ungrip.

My seven week old granddaughter eats one thing now…formula.
Every meal is the same…a lovely little cocktail of purified water and miracle baby growing powder, shaken, not stirred.
I’ve tasted it, and honestly, it’s not very tasty. It’s bland. But it’s what she needs at this time in her life.
So, she consumes the same basic thing again and again, every two or three hours.
BORING!!!
It’s a good thing that she doesn’t know any better, she hasn’t tasted anything else.
But she will!!!
I CAN NOT wait to introduce her to tacos, corn dogs, pizza, Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, butterscotch lifesavers, black jelly beans, and macaroni and cheese from a blue box.
But, for now she can’t handle that stuff. She is on a strict formula diet. It’s what she needs to grow and become.

Sometimes, life seems like formula. We need to be reminded of basic.
Some spaces and seasons are formula. Some days, or years, or places seem so boring.
May I suggest that sometimes that is a completely healthy thing.
Some places are all about us getting the same miracle growing powder AGAIN, because, apparently, we need it.
Those times are more function than flavor, more about formula than flash! It’s all about growing and becoming.
Most of the time, we need remembrance more than revelation.
We can’t quite handle what’s next yet. We need time to grow into our next chapter.
The bad thing is that we have tasted the different. So we get impatient. We want to revisit the flavors of the past, when our Maker is preparing flavors beyond what we can imagine for our future.
I will be honest, I don’t like formula, I like flavor.
But sometimes I need formula more than flavor.
I have to be patient.

Grow where you are today.
It can all build you.
Embrace it all, the bland and the buffet!
It can ALL contribute to your growing.

Who was your first crush?
I remember mine.
She had red hair…
She was barefoot most of the time…
She was older…
It was a forbidden love…
I was four years old.
She wasn’t actually real…
My first crush was on Wilma Flintstone.
I was pretty sure that she was my soulmate. Fred didn’t deserve her, he was a total Neanderthal.
I wanted to go to Bedrock and rescue her.
I know that sounds a little freaky.
Let me explain…
I am blind in my left eye. I have been since birth. There was a time, when I was four, that a very…ummm…compassionate eye doctor told my parents that I was faking it. He proposed that I was just acting half blind for attention, and that my eye wasn’t blind, just lazy. He had a…ummm…fantastic idea, He suggested that they should force me to use my sluggish eyeball. The solution seemed quite clear, put an eye patch on my right eye and then my left eye would kick in and start pulling it’s weight.
And so, my one good eye was covered by an eyepatch. I walked around like a two foot tall drunken pirate. I ran into walls and furniture. I fell down a lot. AND, I developed a very confusing first crush…with a cartoon. I guess there was something about her voice that was soothing to me. It awakened a great, albeit really weird, affection in me.I was smitten.
Then one day, my parents took pity on me and the eyepatch was lifted.
That changed everything.
I realized Wilma was pretty one dimensional.
I realized that we really didn’t have a future.

I suppose that this experience helped shape me, I am a pirate cartoonist (I make sure and wear the eyepatch on the right eye now, which for me is my left eye). Fruity Pebbles is one of my favorite cereals. AND, I learned that many times we “fall in love” with people, ideas, or things only because we really don’t see clearly. When the eye patch is lifted and we see the truth it changes things.
It can be embarrassing, but we move on.
When you find out that your first crush isn’t who you thought they were it can be…well…crushing.
Yabba Dabba Doo!

I don’t know if you heard, I’ve been kinda quiet about it. But, I have a Granddaughter. If you need proof, I can show you pictures (I have a few hundred on my phone). I can also show you the spit up stains on my shirts, OR I can show you the stretch marks on my heart…
My granddaughter is teaching me a lot, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around, but no. I’m learning some things all over again.
Henley holds my heart, she holds my attention, (she also likes to grab my beard).
She hold my imagination.
Even though she can’t speak, she has taught me much in about 7 weeks.

Some thoughts…
She really doesn’t have much to contribute other than cuteness. We don’t value her based on what she brings to the table. She is completely priceless simply because she is at the table!
She is helpless and totally dependent at this point. She is clueless about the future, she doesn’t have a 10 year plan. She, pretty much, lives in the moment.
She is confident in love. She is sure and secure when she is being held. The closer the better.
Sometimes I hold her so close I can feel her breath on my face, I’m sure she can feel my breath, I’m glad she can’t complain about my nasty coffee breath yet.
She seems to recognize my voice, it seems to soothe her, sometimes it makes her smile.
If she needs something she simply (and loudly) cries out for it. She cries out for sustenance, she realizes her need for change. She knows no pride. Nothing keeps her from crying out for help.

Jesus told us we must be “born again”. Second birth? I’m getting a grip on what that might mean as I’ve watched Henley experience life for the first time. To be born again is to take it back to the most basic of basics, to remember some things.
I’ve been reminded that I am dependent. I am helpless without God. I realize that I can’t earn his love, I’m valuable to Him simply because I am His child. Even (or especially) after 5 decades on this planet, I find myself clueless about what the future holds, Sometimes I find myself shaking and insecure. I’m learning to trust Him in the midst of the moment and to give Him my tomorrows. I am sure about the One who holds me and His great love for me. I have to get rid of the foolish pride that would keep me from leaning into that love.

A prayer…
O Father, Hold me because I’m shaking and helpless on my own.
I am afraid…
And sometimes I cry…
I cry out for sustenance, I cry out for change.
Help me.
You hear my cry, pick me up and swaddle me in love, grace and peace. You give me joy.
O Father, Hold me so close that I can feel your breath on my face.
I want to look into your eyes and be soothed by the sound of your voice. Your voice cuts through the confusion and makes me smile.
You love me.
I cling to you.