I don’t know if you heard, I’ve been kinda quiet about it. But, I have a Granddaughter. If you need proof, I can show you pictures (I have a few hundred on my phone). I can also show you the spit up stains on my shirts, OR I can show you the stretch marks on my heart…
My granddaughter is teaching me a lot, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around, but no. I’m learning some things all over again.
Henley holds my heart, she holds my attention, (she also likes to grab my beard).
She hold my imagination.
Even though she can’t speak, she has taught me much in about 7 weeks.
Some thoughts…
She really doesn’t have much to contribute other than cuteness. We don’t value her based on what she brings to the table. She is completely priceless simply because she is at the table!
She is helpless and totally dependent at this point. She is clueless about the future, she doesn’t have a 10 year plan. She, pretty much, lives in the moment.
She is confident in love. She is sure and secure when she is being held. The closer the better.
Sometimes I hold her so close I can feel her breath on my face, I’m sure she can feel my breath, I’m glad she can’t complain about my nasty coffee breath yet.
She seems to recognize my voice, it seems to soothe her, sometimes it makes her smile.
If she needs something she simply (and loudly) cries out for it. She cries out for sustenance, she realizes her need for change. She knows no pride. Nothing keeps her from crying out for help.
Jesus told us we must be “born again”. Second birth? I’m getting a grip on what that might mean as I’ve watched Henley experience life for the first time. To be born again is to take it back to the most basic of basics, to remember some things.
I’ve been reminded that I am dependent. I am helpless without God. I realize that I can’t earn his love, I’m valuable to Him simply because I am His child. Even (or especially) after 5 decades on this planet, I find myself clueless about what the future holds, Sometimes I find myself shaking and insecure. I’m learning to trust Him in the midst of the moment and to give Him my tomorrows. I am sure about the One who holds me and His great love for me. I have to get rid of the foolish pride that would keep me from leaning into that love.
A prayer…
O Father, Hold me because I’m shaking and helpless on my own.
I am afraid…
And sometimes I cry…
I cry out for sustenance, I cry out for change.
Help me.
You hear my cry, pick me up and swaddle me in love, grace and peace. You give me joy.
O Father, Hold me so close that I can feel your breath on my face.
I want to look into your eyes and be soothed by the sound of your voice. Your voice cuts through the confusion and makes me smile.
You love me.
I cling to you.
carbonated joy 