Prehistoric Love.

Posted: June 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

Who was your first crush?
I remember mine.
She had red hair…
She was barefoot most of the time…
She was older…
It was a forbidden love…
I was four years old.
She wasn’t actually real…
My first crush was on Wilma Flintstone.
I was pretty sure that she was my soulmate. Fred didn’t deserve her, he was a total Neanderthal.
I wanted to go to Bedrock and rescue her.
I know that sounds a little freaky.
Let me explain…
I am blind in my left eye. I have been since birth. There was a time, when I was four, that a very…ummm…compassionate eye doctor told my parents that I was faking it. He proposed that I was just acting half blind for attention, and that my eye wasn’t blind, just lazy. He had a…ummm…fantastic idea, He suggested that they should force me to use my sluggish eyeball. The solution seemed quite clear, put an eye patch on my right eye and then my left eye would kick in and start pulling it’s weight.
And so, my one good eye was covered by an eyepatch. I walked around like a two foot tall drunken pirate. I ran into walls and furniture. I fell down a lot. AND, I developed a very confusing first crush…with a cartoon. I guess there was something about her voice that was soothing to me. It awakened a great, albeit really weird, affection in me.I was smitten.
Then one day, my parents took pity on me and the eyepatch was lifted.
That changed everything.
I realized Wilma was pretty one dimensional.
I realized that we really didn’t have a future.

I suppose that this experience helped shape me, I am a pirate cartoonist (I make sure and wear the eyepatch on the right eye now, which for me is my left eye). Fruity Pebbles is one of my favorite cereals. AND, I learned that many times we “fall in love” with people, ideas, or things only because we really don’t see clearly. When the eye patch is lifted and we see the truth it changes things.
It can be embarrassing, but we move on.
When you find out that your first crush isn’t who you thought they were it can be…well…crushing.
Yabba Dabba Doo!

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