carbonated joy

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, let me introduce to you to this champion of curiosity…
the amazing BLOBFISH!
He lives 3,000 feet below the surface off the coasts of Australia, Tasmania, and New Zealand.
He is basically sea jello that loosely resembles Winston Churchill.
He is a completely original creation.
He is currently endangered, which is sad.
He is simple sealife…
He conserves energy by never really actually swimming, he simply floats right above the sea floor.
In 2013 the mighty Blobfish was voted the “World’s Ugliest Animal” by some mean people who just don’t appreciate interesting.
Did the haters hold him back from living His Blobfish dreams?
NO WAY!
(Mainly because he doesn’t have internet access so he never saw the slam.)
But, the obvious lesson here is float past the haters! Don’t read the negative stuff.
We can learn more from our little gelatinous friend…
He is a reminder that unusual should never go out of style.
“In a sea of same, weird wins.” – CJ Casciotta
The Blobfish is also proof that God has a wild imagination and a wicked sense of humor.
I love the Blobfish.
He makes me smile.
I wish that a sports team somewhere would make the Blobfish their mascot, cause that would be awesome.
There should be stuffed toy Blobfish and a jelly like dance step. Gummy Blobfish would be fun.
Let’s learn from this deep water hero…
Let’s get weird!
Let’s float out of the sea of normalcy, and refuse to be same.
Celebrate the curious!
Float on Mr. Blobfish, float on!

I look down at my hands,
And I’m surprised…
Suddenly they are old.
How did that happen?
Somehow, I now have my Dad’s hands.
I wear the same wrinkles and spots.
I feel the same hurts.
There are calluses and scars on my tired hands.
But, these used hands still have stories to tell.

I look down at the hands of my granddaughter,
They are new and unblemished…
chubby and dimpled.
They are ready to reach out and grab hold of the world.
And when they do, I will be there, loudly applauding for her with my old man hands.

We question the burrito.
It is the most guarded of the Tex Mex family.
The stuffing can be a secret.
Is it beef or bean?
Is there some kind of mystery meat?
You can’t tell because all that you see is the tortilla…the exterior.
Not so, the taco!
You can see what it’s made of by simply looking!
It’s crystal clear cuisine.
Don’t live a burrito life.
Be a taco.
Burritos are wrapped up in themselves.
And so they close themselves off.
They don’t reveal who they are until it’s too late and life takes a bite out of them.
And they suddenly and sadly lose their filling in a violent and embarrassing fashion.
Poor burrito.
Not so, the taco!
Tacos are open and honest.
“Hey! Look here, I’m full of beans!”
It’s messy, but that’s the risk that comes with living wide open.
Sometimes things get sloppy.
But, that’s okay.
You don’t have to apologize for being cheesy when people know it’s been there all along.
Be a taco, but, be a soft shell taco!
Sometimes, we live a hard shell life.
Life get crunchy.
But living with no flexibility can cause you to end up in broken pieces on the plate.
Stay soft.
Be a taco…a beautiful soft shell taco with all the things that make you deliciously interesting on display.

I’m the kind of guy
Who really likes pie.
I could eat it 314 different and delicious ways.
I could consume it on summer and winter days.
I like blueberry, apple, snozberry, or sweet potato pie.
I’m completely crazy about key lime, I even like shoo fly.
I like Frito chili pie, pot pie, fried pie, pecan and shepherds pie, my oh my!!
Pie is a magical word, it can make any word sound tasty, even kidney pie.
I really just like pie!
I’m that kind of guy.

Wasted away again on Daylight Savings Time,
Searchin’ for my lost hour of sweet sleep.
Most people claim that there’s a politician to blame,
So we spring forward like sluggish sheep.

Don’t know the reason,
It always happens this season,
With nothing to show but new bags under my eyes.
Call me a fool, a sleep deprived tool,
But trying to save sunshine,
Just doesn’t seem wise.

(A short talk about what I’ve learned from the Flintstones.)

From the town of Bedrock, I have learned some modern stone age truth. The Flintstones taught me some pterodactyl sized life lessons…

I learned that you can go far through the courtesy of your two feet.

I learned that sometimes it’s fun to shout out complete nonsensical statements…”YABBA DABBA DOO!”

I learned that Fruity Pebbles are delicious. They are the GREATEST sugary breakfast food EVER designed to look like brightly colored miniature rocks!

I learned that history matters. Even if it’s made up cartoon history. Because, HEY! meet the Flintstones…they’re a page right out of history.

I learned from the Loyal Order of Water Buffalo that if you have to know a secret handshake to enter a room, you probably don’t want to go there. Because the Grand Pooh Bah is just going to make you wear a funny hat. Find friends who accept you for you.
While we are on the subject of friends…

I learned that EVERYBODY needs a Barney. Barney Rubble wasn’t perfect but he was a really good friend. He was so much more than a little bowling buddy, he had Fred’s back. He was kind, and loyal, and he had a crazy laugh that always brought the party. Find a Barney!!

I learned that you should hang out with people who are smarter than you, Wilma was definitely smarter than Fred. She made him better.

I learned that sometimes the STRONGEST person in the room is the SMALLEST person in the room. Bam Bam was a terminator toddler. He was a little beast who often got underestimated. Don’t measure might by size, there’s so much more to true strength!

I learned that life is better when you have a purple pet dinosaur that you can talk to when you’re lonely. If you can’t find a Dino, adopt a rescue dog or cat!

I learned that you should try to be kind to people who are different from you EVEN if they are jerks. Fred and Barney met the Great Gazoo, he was a tiny green alien who had been exiled from his home planet. He got Fred and Barney into a lot of trouble while continually calling them dum dums.
They still tried to help the little floating jerk get home.
And, while we are on the subject of jerks…

I learned that if you somehow ever find yourself in a position of authority, don’t be a jerk. Mr. Slate was a horrible boss. He was mean and selfish. He was also pretty relatable because we have all known bosses and authority figures like that.
Don’t be Mr. Slate.

I learned that someday, maybe Fred will win the fight…
He had hope…
and because of that he never gave up!! Same with us, no matter how many times we get locked out, we should never quit. Someday, maybe we will win the fight, there is hope.

I learned that many times we “fall in love” with people, ideas, or things only because we really don’t see clearly. When we see the truth it changes things.
Here’s an embarrassing confession…
Wilma Flintstone was my first crush.
Seriously.
It was a forbidden love…
I was four years old.
She wasn’t actually real…
But, I was pretty sure that she was my soulmate. Fred didn’t deserve her, he was a total Neanderthal.
I wanted to go to Bedrock and rescue her.
I know that sounds a little freaky.
Let me explain…
I am blind in my left eye. I have been since birth. There was a time, when I was four, that a very…ummm…compassionate eye doctor told my parents that I was faking it. He proposed that I was just acting half blind for attention, and that my eye wasn’t blind, just lazy. He had a…ummm…fantastic idea, He suggested that they should force me to use my sluggish eyeball. The solution seemed quite clear, put an eye patch on my right eye and then my left eye would kick in and start pulling it’s weight.
And so, my one good eye was covered by an eyepatch. I walked around like a two foot tall drunken caveman. I ran into walls and furniture. I fell down a lot. AND, I developed a very confusing first crush…with a cartoon that I couldn’t see. I listened to the Flintstones everyday. I guess there was something about her voice that was soothing to me. It awakened a great, albeit really weird, affection in me.
I was smitten.
Then one day, my parents took pity on me and the eyepatch was lifted.
That changed everything.
I realized Wilma was pretty one dimensional.
I realized that we really didn’t have a future.

And finally…
I learned that when you’re with the Flintstones you are sure to have a yabba-dabba-doo time.

Finding your place can be really hard, there is no doubt.
It seems like someone is always trying to push you out.
Maybe it’s time to finally stand your ground.
Dig in hard and make a wild delirious sound.
Something is stronger than the bully that makes your life sour.
Joy is meant to be your not-so-secret super power.
So, stop! collaborate and glisten…
Choose joy and make it your mission.
Lift a foot and let loose with a big happy stomp!
C’mon! Make a loud, rowdy, clumsy soul clomp!
Turn your cage into a wide open dance floor.
And happy stomp until the bullies are no more.
Don’t worry about being pretty or full of grace,
Be yourself, laugh, live, love, take your place.
Lift a foot and let loose with a big happy stomp!

I watched Pinocchio with my granddaughter the other day. To be honest, the Moonpie slept through most of it. But, it gave me an excuse to watch an old favorite. It also gave me a chance to relearn some old lessons about what it means to be a real boy.
We weren’t created by the kind inventor to be puppets. He dearly loves us and gave us the gift of choice and the ability to wish upon a star and see dreams come true.
We were made to be real.
But we get led down some wrong roads.
We set out with an apple and the best of intentions.
But, we get sidetracked and led astray by smooth talking, wily foxes.
We find ourselves moving to the beat of the evil puppet master.
We make jackasses out of ourselves as we endlessly search for Pleasure Island.
It’s a whale of a tale and it can make life seem pretty wooden.
Oh Pinocchio…
What is the secret to being real?
Well, it’s as clear as the nose on your face…
Be brave, truthful, unselfish, and always listen to your conscience.
That is the road to real.
There will be temptations and tests.
Give a little whistle and cut the strings!
Don’t be a puppet!
Be brave.
Be truthful.
Be unselfish.
And, always let your conscience be your guide.
Be real.