Sidewalks.

Posted: May 2, 2016 in Uncategorized

Sidewalks.
Sidewalks are meant to connect.
They take us places.
We put our handprints in the wet cement as a way to say “we were here”.
Cracks in the sidewalk are inevitable, but if they are built on the right stuff they won’t crumble.

Being a parent is all about walking your kids down a series of sidewalks and letting go of their hand.
I remember when our beautiful, spunky baby girl, Delanie, started Kindergarten. We walked her down a sidewalk in Euless, Texas. She carried a power puff girl backpack full of dreams, a big box of crayons and a slim jim (which was the only thing she would eat for lunch…please don’t judge our parenting skills). We let go of her hand and watched her walk into her future…and we bawled like preschoolers.
She boldly walked into her new classroom.
We were left standing on the sidewalk wondering where the years had gone.
Over the years there were other sidewalks.
We walked her to the end of those sidewalks, let go of her hand and watched her go places that we weren’t meant to go with her.
We packed her backpack with all the love and wisdom that we could.
Sidewalks.
Being a parent is all about walking your kids down a series of sidewalks and letting go of their hand.

One year ago today I walked Delanie down another sidewalk.
There was a big hearted bass player standing at the end of the sidewalk ready to take her hand and lead her into a shared future.
I let go of her hand and watched them begin to build their own sidewalk.
We have watched as the cement has settled.
They have a good foundation.
Cracks are inevitable, but they are built on the right stuff…
Faith
Love
Friendship
Honor
Laughter.

Happy Anniversary Jordan and Del!
We are so incredibly proud of both of you.
We love you!
Just know, if you need us, we will be easy to find.
Look for the handprints in the cement that say “we were here”.

Student driver.

Posted: May 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

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STUDENT DRIVER…
Two words that strike fear in the heart of most rational motor vehicle operators!
Think about it, you are out for a drive when a neutral colored Honda with a “Student Driver” sign pulls up next to you at the intersection.
The driver looks very young and very nervous. He or she has the steering wheel in a death grip and they are staring straight ahead, afraid to blink.
They seem like they are a little fidgety.
Next to them is a driving instructor with a clipboard and a unibrow. The instructor looks like they really need a strong drink! You are gripped by anxiety for the safety and well-being of everyone around you.
Because of two words…
STUDENT DRIVER.
It’s a crazy, legally required rite of passage.
I think it should be a permanent condition.
I will explain, but first, I want you to think back.
Remember Drivers Ed?
What was it like for you?
Today there are so many opportunities to take Drivers Ed.
You can take it online or at a driver’s school.
In some states, you get credit for playing Grand Theft Auto.
When I was growing up, we only had one option and that was to take it at school. We had some classroom instruction, where we studied safe driving skills, “always have both hands on the steering wheel at 10 and 2.”
And, we tried to memorize the state driver’s manual. It had super practical pointers like “Commercial farming vehicles always have the right of way on Wednesday afternoons”.
We also watched cautionary instructional films. They were low budget movies that were always about a teenager who had a tragic, momentary lapse in judgement, “Cindy doesn’t use her turn signal correctly and runs over a family of kittens” or “Kenny was listening to his radio too loud and caused a multi-car accident, don’t be like Kenny!” They were gory attempts to scare us safe.
THEN…we would hit the road!
Our long suffering drivers Ed teacher would sit beside us and steer us through the art of steering.
We would practice navigating through orange pylons in the parking lot.
I’m not proud to say that I have, singlehandedly, killed 17 pylons.
I was not a good driver.
Fortunately, the teacher had his own brake and he would sometimes yank the brake on me.
It was a jarring, humbling experience that probably saved my life.
We practiced parallel parking (I still can’t do it, but my wife has serious parallel parking skills!).
We hit the open dirt road and practiced until we achieved motoring mediocrity.
Drivers Ed set us up to take the driver’s test, get our permit and eventually our license.

I have a confession to make, Drivers Ed class was over thirty years ago. I’ve been a licensed driver ever since then, BUT, I’m STILL not a very good driver…oh it’s true! I have no depth perception or sense of direction. I get lost a lot! Sometimes daily. Sometimes even when I’ve go to places that I’ve been to many times.

I get lost.

The problem is that, even though I’m seriously directionally challenged, I’m still a dude and we HATE admitting that we are lost. We are usually too proud to ask for directions, like we will get shamed by Siri.
We end up getting more and more lost. That’s a problem!

I’m finding that when it comes to this crazy road trip we call life, I’m still a student driver.
I’m still trying to figure out how to steer (which road should I turn down?) and how often should I adjust my rear view mirror and look at where I’ve been.
In real life, just like the parking lot, parallel parking is really hard.
I get lost and I end up in dead ends of my own design.
Fortunately, life comes with a driver’s manual.
The Bible has a lot to say about traffic.

Here’s a road rule…
“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” – 2 Chronicles 7:14

This is a response from God to a prayer that Solomon prayed for Israel, but I think it gives us some pretty good navigational tools too!!

“If my people” – we get licensed through relationship.
The driver’s test only has one question (considerably shorter than the state of North Carolina).
The one question is: who do YOU say Jesus is?
That’s it!
It’s the same question that Jesus asked Simon Peter and the other disciples in Luke 9:20 “who do you say I am?” Peter replied, “You are the Messiah sent from God!” RIGHT ANSWER!! Jesus threw him the keys!
The right answer gets us the keys!
The right answer gets us into the family.

“Will humble themselves” – get humble, adjust your mirrors and see yourself for who you really are. It’s really all about attitude!
The secret to traction is to live like a student driver! If we think or act like we know everything, we will just spin our wheels. If we never admit that we are lost, we will never find our way!
live humble. Live like a student, always learning, always growing. We should look at every new day as a chance to discover something. Student drivers show a strong, whole hearted interest in life and everything it has to offer. They live in such a way that a dull moment is an unknown thing.

“Pray and seek God’s face” – look at the instructor, see what he has to say. Don’t be too proud to ask for directions.

“Turn from their wicked ways” – do a uturn! Sometimes we got to turn around and go the opposite way, away from the potholes and speed traps. Turn from the lost places. Sometimes God yanks the brake on you in order to keep you from crashing. It is a jarring, humbling experience meant to save our life.

“I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land” – the instructor gives us gas and grace to get down the road. Life becomes a restoration project.
An old car, in the right hands, regains it’s original beauty, so do we.

We need to live like student drivers.
We travel through life learning as we go.
Don’t be afraid to ask for directions.
Turn around when you need to.
Grab the keys.
Let the Master Mechanic restore you to your original beauty.
And
Enjoy the ride!

Storms…

Posted: April 27, 2016 in Uncategorized

It’s storm season in Oklahoma, where I was born and raised.
I live one thousand miles away from there now, but I still get a little antsy this time of year.
I watch weather reports or talk to my sky watching family and friends who still live there.
I hear about the approaching storm and it fills me with an empathetic anxiousness.
It takes me back…
It takes me back to a storm.
It was April 24, 1993, and Diana and I were youth pastors at a church in Tulsa. We lived in a little bitty house on the church grounds. The house was roughly the exact same size and shape as an average shoe box.

It was a Saturday evening around 6:30 p.m., and I’d just gotten home from work. I worked at a bookstore. Diana, who we had just found out was pregnant, was away at a women’s conference in west Texas. I was all alone, and I had some big plans. I was going to eat some hearty, manly grub—a delicious and nutritious Hungry Man Salisbury steak TV dinner—and I was going to watch professional wrestling, drink root beer and make loud, offensive, manly noises. It doesn’t get much better than that.

When I got home I noticed the sky looked really weird. It was almost a surreal shade of gray. I turned on the TV, and the high-strung local weatherman was nervously talking about storm fronts and funnel clouds and possible tornadic activity. If you live in Oklahoma for any amount of time, you get used to the threat of tornadoes. I put my Hungry Man meal in the microwave and set the timer. I was about to assume my rightful position in the recliner with a remote control in my hand when the silence was broken by some loud sirens going off right outside.

Howard and Catherine Mabry, the pastors, lived right next door to us in an identical shoe box house. Howard and Catherine were great people who had been pastors for about 50 years. They loved people, and they loved Jesus.

When the sirens starting blaring, I called them, and Catherine answered. I said, “What is that?”

She replied, “Well, it’s a tornado.”

I said, “Oh, what do I do?”

She answered, “Get somewhere!” Then she hung up—evidently so she could get somewhere herself.

The wind was really picking up outside, so I decided I really ought to get somewhere, although I didn’t know where to get. I remembered hearing somewhere that the bathroom was the safest room in the house, which is reassuring because I spend a lot of time there. I ran in and knelt down by the tub.

The weather was actually getting pretty scary at this point. It was getting noisier, and the wind was getting stronger. I started praying hard and fast. I was pleading with God for protection. I just wanted to see my wife. I wanted to be around to meet my unborn child. I could hear and feel things banging up against the side of our little house. It sounded like a freight train was going right through our living room. I was facedown on our bathroom floor, shaking and shivering and crying out for divine assistance.

It’s during times like this, when all pretense and pride is stripped away, that you realize what’s really important in life. It’s just you and God and a storm, and you realize what matters most—and it wasn’t what I was wearing or driving. It didn’t matter where we lived or that we only had $2.37 in our checking account. It was pretty simple: What mattered was my family and my faith, and that was it.

Then just as quickly as the storm started, it ended, and there was a tangible stillness all around me. I lay there on the bathroom floor for a while. When I was able to finally get up, I realized our little house was intact.

I walked outside, and it looked almost like a war zone. Howard and Catherine were fine, although the tornado had demolished Catherine’s little storage building. She had kept 40 years worth of sewing and craft supplies in it, so there were strands of fabric everywhere. Broken glass and wood were everywhere. Large chunks of other people’s houses were in our front yards. The storm had knocked out the windows in our cars and knocked the steeple off the church. The wooden playground and jungle gym were totally gone. We walked around, trying to take it all in.

The tornado hit a large truck stop right across the highway from us. It killed 16 people there. People who were just trying to get home. These people were parents, grandparents, children, brothers, and sisters. They had plans and dreams, but these plans came to an ugly end on a spring day in Tulsa. The truck stop was totally wiped out. Twisted steel and destruction were everywhere. Yet right where the truck stop kitchen had been minutes before, there was a Styrofoam container of eggs just sitting there, and not one of the eggs was even cracked. It was as unexplainable as the ugly storm that had just passed.

I sat in my living room in the dark watching the fire trucks, ambulances, and helicopters come and go. I thought about how life can change in an instant. We make our plans, but in the blink of an eye, everything can be turned upside down.
The wisest investments are made in the things that matter most. When we’re shaken to our foundations, suddenly fashion, popularity, fame, and mutual funds don’t really matter at all. We’re left holding onto our faith, our family, and our friends.
And that’s about it.
If that’s what matters when the storm hits, why can’t we live for those things when everything is fine? Why do we allow ourselves to be distracted by things that don’t matter?
I’ve been through many storms since that day in 1993. They all take me back to a desperate little man lying on a bathroom floor and the clarity about what matters that I gained there.

Soul Pirate.

Posted: April 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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AHOY!!
So, I’ve written a wild new book called “Soul Pirate Handbook” and it’s being unleashed on May 10th. You can preorder it now here:
http://amzn.to/1QsW69c
(PLEASE preorder it now!)
I’ve had lots of people…ok, 6, I’ve had 6 people ask me “Luke, what in the the WORLD is a Soul Pirate?” Here is a little back cover blurb that should answer that question…

“We are created to live in the unpredictable wildness of an untamed life.
We are wired for adventure…
We were born to be Soul Pirates.

So what is a Soul Pirate? Soul Pirates have discovered a love that is deeper than an ocean and a treasure that is worth living and dying for. Soul Pirates know in their guts that they were not created to conform or hang out in the kiddie pool. Soul Pirates hoist their colors, declare their allegiance and live their life in pursuit of real freedom, lasting friendship, and true fortune.”

Hopefully this little teaser makes you think: “WOW! I really can NOT live without this crazy book!” AND “I’m going to get a copy for myself, my kids, my parents, my friends, my enemies, my hairdresser, my barista and all my pirate pals!”
PLEASE consider grabbing a copy (or 12) and share this post if ye dare!!
#SoulPirateHandbook

All in the valley of “things that I tell myself”
Rode the accuser of humanity, itself.
“Forward, the Lie Brigade!
Charge for the right thinking” he bade;
“Crush it with an endless tirade!”

The war between my ears wages on.
Insecurity to the right of me,
Pride to the left of me,
Fear in front of me,
I’m assaulted by accusation.
What can grant me liberation.

I need a revolution.
The first lie that has to die is the one that says that I can win this by myself.
I need a renewal of mind, a revolution of thought.
I need to see things through new eyes.
The maker of me makes a reply,
I’m not a mistake, there is for me, a why,
I’m uniquely crafted to fly.
The war between my ears can be won,
By choosing the perspective of the Son.

Remember eight year old you?

Posted: April 15, 2016 in Uncategorized

Remember eight year old you?

It was back when you were completely unpractical.
You told yourself lots of senseless and silly things.
You continually told yourself that you could do impossible things.
You told yourself that fun is more important than fashion.
You told yourself that the five second rule was a universal law.
You told yourself that ketchup was a food group.
You told yourself that it’s not a party without a piñata.
You told yourself that it’s better to skip than walk.
You told yourself that you can make art out of anything.
You told yourself that if you hear your favorite song on the radio, you should sing along as loud as you can.
You told yourself that you should never turn down sprinkles on your ice cream.
You told yourself that obstacles were an opportunity to climb.
You told yourself that puddles were a chance to make a splash.
You told yourself that people were all the same and that it’s easy to make new friends.

Why in the world did you stop listening to that you?

ONE question…

Posted: April 12, 2016 in Uncategorized

What ONE question would you ask your favorite Bible character?
Think about it…if you could just sit down over coffee with a real life biblical person and only ask them ONE question, what would you ask them?

Would you ask…
Moses, what’s your favorite way to prepare manna?
David, what’s your favorite musical style?
Lazarus, so what was it like being dead and then suddenly undead?
Paul, why do you have a problem with the ladies?
Mary, did you know? (Sorry, couldn’t help myself!)

Now, in true biblical fashion, let’s flip it around.
What do you think is the ONE question that they would ask you?
I think I know, I think they would ask you a question that matters.
They wouldn’t ask you a casual question, I mean, c’mon, we have an eternity to talk about your favorite song, lunch or childhood.
They would look you in the eyes and ask you in breathless anticipation THE question…
DO YOU KNOW JESUS?
They would ask you with passion like its the only question that matters (because it is!)
They wouldn’t ask what you have done or achieved or given.
They wouldn’t ask you “So, what are you DOING for the Master?”
They would ask you “So, do you know the Master?”
It’s not about achievement or accolade. It’s not about how hard you work or how good you look.
I don’t think Jesus is impressed by that stuff.
Gut level faith isn’t about performing or proving, it’s about pursuing.
Success isn’t about how much you can do, it’s about how close you can get.

It all starts with ONE really BIG big question…do you know him?

At the end of time, on that day of judgment, many will say to Me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name? Did we not drive demons out of the possessed in Your name? Did we not perform miracles in Your name?” But I will say to them, “I never knew you. And now, you must get away from Me, you evildoers!” (Matt. 7:22-23)

who AREN’T you?

Posted: April 7, 2016 in Uncategorized

A while back my world was rocked.
I found out that I wasn’t who I thought I was.

I grew up hearing stories that I was Native American. I took great pride in that. It gave me a story to tell. I had an actual heritage.
We all look to be part of a significant story.
I was an Indian and that was awesome!
Whenever anyone spoke of Native American things, I stood (a little) taller. They were speaking of my people. I studied Native American culture, after all that was my history.

When I grew up I told the story to my daughter. I told her who she was.
I even made up elaborate bedtime stories to hang our history on.
I told her stories about her great, great grandmother, whose name was Running Water. She was married to Bottled Water. They had children named Distilled Water and Tap Water.
I know, it was sad. But, it let Delanie know who she was, or so I thought…

It is always good to know who you are, unless you don’t.
My Wife, Diana, knew about my strong interest in my heritage. So, she got me a DNA test for Christmas.
I was excited! I spit in a little plastic vial and sent it off to a lab. And then i waited and waited and waited…for months.
As I waited, my imagination ran wild (it tends to do that!)
Would the tests show that I was a full blooded Cherokee chieftain as I had suspected and hoped?
And IF SO…
Was I eligible for casino money?
Was I a direct descendant of someone famous?
Were there skeletons in my closet? MAN! I hoped so!! I wanted something more interesting than: “well, you are a white dude.”
I finally got the results back and I learned that I was who I thought I was.
I’m 97.1% Northwestern European, with 50.5% of that being Irish/British.
I did found out that I’m 0.4% Ashkenazi Jew, so that is pretty exciting.
So I’m 0% Native American…I’m not from around here!
I’m not who I was told I was.
I wanted to be genetic Chex mix, but I found out that I’m the genetic equivalent of vanilla wafers.

We often find we aren’t who we thought we were.

I grew up thinking I was something I wasn’t because that’s what people told me.
Then I turned around and told my daughter the same.
We do that in other ways too, ways that limit.
We grow up believing certain things about ourselves because that is what we have been told.
You aren’t enough.
You can never do that.
You are just like your _______.(fill in the blank with the closest relative who never amounted to anything).
You will screw this up, you always do.
Other people try to tell us who we are.
We grow up thinking that is who we are.
Maybe it’s time to have your world rocked by learning that you aren’t who you thought you were!
You got to stop and check the DNA.
Don’t let anyone who didn’t create you define you.

What are you built of?
Turns out, it isn’t earthly stuff.
You are uncontainable and otherworldly.
You are made of uniquely molded miracle.
You are Inheritor of the infinite.
There is royalty in you.
You are loved, you always have been.
You are a chosen people, royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession.
You’ve been called you out of suffocating darkness into liberating light.
You are adopted and accepted, rescued and restored.

Brace yourself, You might not be who you thought you were!

You have the DNA of heaven in you.
Check your DNA with the One who made you.
It might just rock your world.

TOAST.

Posted: March 31, 2016 in Uncategorized

Whenever we find ourselves in a jam, or we get a little jelly of others, we spread a bunch of compote trying to preserve ourselves. AND that is a BIG jar of marmalade.

I’m your biggest fan.

Posted: March 28, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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I was never super competitive, UNTIL my kid started to compete.

Growing up, I was the chunky kid in the outfield, drawing pictures in the dirt, while grounders rolled by me.
I didn’t really care about winning or losing. I just wanted to have fun.
But that all changed when my baby girl started playing softball.
Suddenly, a competitive fire ignited in me.
I really can’t explain the feelings. Every time she went up to bat, my heart pounded and my gut tightened. When she was running the bases, It was like I was running with her, even though I was sitting on really uncomfortable metal bleachers, usually eating corndogs.

Delanie started playing softball in first grade.
Over the years, she was a Jag, a Rebel and an Angel.
As her completely impartial father, I can safely say that she was pretty awesome!
When your kids play sports, it’s never a simple thing.
It’s a full on family endeavor.
It takes a team to play team sports.
It was a commitment! We had practice twice during the week and games on Saturday. There were cleats and team pictures to buy.
I carried her pink “Hello Kitty” equipment bag.
We showed up.
We sit and cheered her on.
We braved the elements and sat in the rain, the wind, the yellow North Carolina pollen dust.
All worth it!!!
Del played softball with a wide open fierceness.
She was the catcher. She was REALLY good at it. It was amazing to watch her throw her mask off and get underneath the fly ball and get the out.
She was fearless.
There is a special kind of parent pride when you watch your kid fearlessly pursue something they love. It’s a soul swell!
We felt undiluted joy when watching her play with all her heart. When she went for the ball and caught it.
But, sometimes, she missed the ball too. Sometimes, they lost.
Sometimes, we felt incomparable hurt when watching her play. We felt completely helpless when we watched her go for the ball and get beaned. Sometimes life hurts and we can’t protect our kids from the sting.
During the softball years, we met some really cool people. They were folks in the same boat as us. They were crazy about their kids.
They became great friends, a community sharing the bleachers.
There are so many life lessons to learn in kids sports. There was a lot of parental pressure put on some of the kids, pressure that they weren’t equipped to handle.
The pressure to win, to succeed, to not make any errors.
Some kids had no room to mess up and they totally knew it.
The coaches were volunteers, usually parents. Some were really good, others were scary.
Some coaches made the game interesting.
Some coaches made the game intimidating.
As adults we tend to take the play out of play.
There were always a few kids who just showed up at the ballpark. They got dropped off or rode their bikes. There weren’t any parentals in the bleachers for them. The present parents circled around and picked up the slack. We cheered them on too.
As parents, we felt pressure too! when it was your turn to bring the snacks, do you go healthy or fun? carrot sticks or cookies? String cheese or twinkles? Juice boxes or root beer? The other parents were watching!
There are countless opportunities for parents to embarrass themselves and their offspring.
I’ve seen Dads get in fist fights and Moms get in angry food fights.
They would shout and stomp and insult the coach, the umps and the opposing team.
Dude, it’s a game!!
There was always that one dad who “played ball in college” and is an expert. He didn’t volunteer to actually be the coach, because of his busy schedule. But, that didn’t stop him. He could still coach from the stands.
I knew I wasn’t the coach and I figured out, by the lack of a whistle, that I wasn’t the umpire.
During the game, my profession was determined by my position.
I was in the bleachers.
So, my job was to cheer.
Sometimes, I was tempted to coach or try to officiate.
But the bleachers are made for cheering.
After the game, the cheering was meant to continue. Win or lose, we always went to Sonic. Because, tator tots take some of the crunch out of a crushing defeat and cherry limeades make victory even sweeter.

As our kids grow though the innings of life, we play different roles.
We officiate, we are the umpires. We teach them what’s important, we should pass along character and values. When they get out of line, we blow the whistle and make the call.
There are times when we are the coach. We show them, mostly by our example, how to play the game. We should make the game interesting and not intimidating.
But, as we watch our kids get older, our role changes.
We take our place in the bleachers of their life.
Our role becomes clear.
We cheer.
We don’t choose.
We don’t criticize.
We cheer.
We would REALLY like to make all their choices for them. But we can’t, it’s their game, not ours.
When they do screw up and drop the ball (because, we all do.) it’s tempting to criticize or cut.
But, that’s not our job.
As our kids get older and begin their own game, we take our place on the bleachers and we cheer.
We make some noise.
We are bold in our belief of who they are.
They step up and play their game.
There will be BIG moments, there will be home runs and wins. They play with all their heart and it pays off. There will be times when your heart pounds and your gut tightens and you feel so much pride that you could explode.
There will also, inevitably, be moments when they strike out.
You will have to watch them lose sometimes. As much as you would like to, you won’t be able to insulate them from the pain. There will be bumps and bruises. They will get beaned by a few fly balls. You will feel so much hurt that you could explode.
When that happens, gently remind them that you are their biggest fan.
This is their game.
Don’t make their choices.
Don’t criticize or cut.
Cheer!
Make some noise.
Unfurl the flag that says “I BELIEVE IN YOU!!”
We are in the bleachers. Our job is to cheer.
And maybe…occasionally, win or lose, take them to Sonic because there is something magical about a cherry limeade and tots.