Posted: March 6, 2018 in Uncategorized


(A short talk about what I’ve learned from the Flintstones.)

From the town of Bedrock, I have learned some modern stone age truth. The Flintstones taught me some pterodactyl sized life lessons…

I learned that you can go far through the courtesy of your two feet.

I learned that sometimes it’s fun to shout out complete nonsensical statements…”YABBA DABBA DOO!”

I learned that Fruity Pebbles are delicious. They are the GREATEST sugary breakfast food EVER designed to look like brightly colored miniature rocks!

I learned that history matters. Even if it’s made up cartoon history. Because, HEY! meet the Flintstones…they’re a page right out of history.

I learned from the Loyal Order of Water Buffalo that if you have to know a secret handshake to enter a room, you probably don’t want to go there. Because the Grand Pooh Bah is just going to make you wear a funny hat. Find friends who accept you for you.
While we are on the subject of friends…

I learned that EVERYBODY needs a Barney. Barney Rubble wasn’t perfect but he was a really good friend. He was so much more than a little bowling buddy, he had Fred’s back. He was kind, and loyal, and he had a crazy laugh that always brought the party. Find a Barney!!

I learned that you should hang out with people who are smarter than you, Wilma was definitely smarter than Fred. She made him better.

I learned that sometimes the STRONGEST person in the room is the SMALLEST person in the room. Bam Bam was a terminator toddler. He was a little beast who often got underestimated. Don’t measure might by size, there’s so much more to true strength!

I learned that life is better when you have a purple pet dinosaur that you can talk to when you’re lonely. If you can’t find a Dino, adopt a rescue dog or cat!

I learned that you should try to be kind to people who are different from you EVEN if they are jerks. Fred and Barney met the Great Gazoo, he was a tiny green alien who had been exiled from his home planet. He got Fred and Barney into a lot of trouble while continually calling them dum dums.
They still tried to help the little floating jerk get home.
And, while we are on the subject of jerks…

I learned that if you somehow ever find yourself in a position of authority, don’t be a jerk. Mr. Slate was a horrible boss. He was mean and selfish. He was also pretty relatable because we have all known bosses and authority figures like that.
Don’t be Mr. Slate.

I learned that someday, maybe Fred will win the fight…
He had hope…
and because of that he never gave up!! Same with us, no matter how many times we get locked out, we should never quit. Someday, maybe we will win the fight, there is hope.

I learned that many times we “fall in love” with people, ideas, or things only because we really don’t see clearly. When we see the truth it changes things.
Here’s an embarrassing confession…
Wilma Flintstone was my first crush.
It was a forbidden love…
I was four years old.
She wasn’t actually real…
But, I was pretty sure that she was my soulmate. Fred didn’t deserve her, he was a total Neanderthal.
I wanted to go to Bedrock and rescue her.
I know that sounds a little freaky.
Let me explain…
I am blind in my left eye. I have been since birth. There was a time, when I was four, that a very…ummm…compassionate eye doctor told my parents that I was faking it. He proposed that I was just acting half blind for attention, and that my eye wasn’t blind, just lazy. He had a…ummm…fantastic idea, He suggested that they should force me to use my sluggish eyeball. The solution seemed quite clear, put an eye patch on my right eye and then my left eye would kick in and start pulling it’s weight.
And so, my one good eye was covered by an eyepatch. I walked around like a two foot tall drunken caveman. I ran into walls and furniture. I fell down a lot. AND, I developed a very confusing first crush…with a cartoon that I couldn’t see. I listened to the Flintstones everyday. I guess there was something about her voice that was soothing to me. It awakened a great, albeit really weird, affection in me.
I was smitten.
Then one day, my parents took pity on me and the eyepatch was lifted.
That changed everything.
I realized Wilma was pretty one dimensional.
I realized that we really didn’t have a future.

And finally…
I learned that when you’re with the Flintstones you are sure to have a yabba-dabba-doo time.


Happy Stomp.

Posted: March 5, 2018 in Uncategorized

Finding your place can be really hard, there is no doubt.
It seems like someone is always trying to push you out.
Maybe it’s time to finally stand your ground.
Dig in hard and make a wild delirious sound.
Something is stronger than the bully that makes your life sour.
Joy is meant to be your not-so-secret super power.
So, stop! collaborate and glisten…
Choose joy and make it your mission.
Lift a foot and let loose with a big happy stomp!
C’mon! Make a loud, rowdy, clumsy soul clomp!
Turn your cage into a wide open dance floor.
And happy stomp until the bullies are no more.
Don’t worry about being pretty or full of grace,
Be yourself, laugh, live, love, take your place.
Lift a foot and let loose with a big happy stomp!



I watched Pinocchio with my granddaughter the other day. To be honest, the Moonpie slept through most of it. But, it gave me an excuse to watch an old favorite. It also gave me a chance to relearn some old lessons about what it means to be a real boy.
We weren’t created by the kind inventor to be puppets. He dearly loves us and gave us the gift of choice and the ability to wish upon a star and see dreams come true.
We were made to be real.
But we get led down some wrong roads.
We set out with an apple and the best of intentions.
But, we get sidetracked and led astray by smooth talking, wily foxes.
We find ourselves moving to the beat of the evil puppet master.
We make jackasses out of ourselves as we endlessly search for Pleasure Island.
It’s a whale of a tale and it can make life seem pretty wooden.
Oh Pinocchio…
What is the secret to being real?
Well, it’s as clear as the nose on your face…
Be brave, truthful, unselfish, and always listen to your conscience.
That is the road to real.
There will be temptations and tests.
Give a little whistle and cut the strings!
Don’t be a puppet!
Be brave.
Be truthful.
Be unselfish.
And, always let your conscience be your guide.
Be real.


Image  —  Posted: March 3, 2018 in Uncategorized


Image  —  Posted: March 3, 2018 in Uncategorized


Image  —  Posted: March 3, 2018 in Uncategorized


Posted: February 27, 2018 in Uncategorized

Andy has been a good friend for a long time.
He is wild about Jesus.
He is wild about his family.
In my book, that makes him wildly successful.
He told me a wildly awesome story last week.
It’s a story about something that we all do, it’s just awkward to talk about…at least out loud.
Andy was at a early morning Bible study group with a bunch of dudes. I think there was delicious breakfast food involved.
The leader of the group asked one of the men to pray. The guy said he would love to pray, but that he doesn’t publicly pray out loud. He only prays silent prayers…and THAT is what he did.
As the other men awkwardly shuffled their feet and wondered if he was done yet, he prayed silently.
Silence can be thick when we aren’t used to it in our public gatherings.
Then, after a few moments, the private pray-er let out an enthusiastic “amen” and loud handclap signifying that prayer time was over.
Nobody knew what to do with that.
Can we agree with prayer that we can’t hear?
What did he say?
Does it count if we can’t hear it?

Then my amazing friend, Andy, had a wild thought…silent farts are some of the strongest farts.
Why wouldn’t silent prayer be the same?!
This is one of the reasons that I really love Andy. He thinks of stuff like this.

I can say from years of research and exposure that silent farts truly ARE some of the strongest farts. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about! We have all been innocent victims and purveyors of the strategically placed, silent but deadly toot.
Without any warning you find yourself in a thick SBD fog. The toxic air biscuit or ghost turd, definitely smelt but not heard. Passive aggressive gas, SBDs are the ninjas of the flatulence family. You don’t know it’s there until you are suddenly surrounded. You are suddenly consumed by its presence. The fragrance has overtaken you!

Silent farts are some of the strongest farts. Why wouldn’t silent prayer be the same?!

I’ve prayed and been privy to a lot of NON-silent prayers…
I’ve heard people preach entire 3 point sermons in a prayer. I’ve heard folks quote every Bible verse they know as they prayed. Others use big impressive sounding words, or talk in very proper King James English (like that is all that God understands). I’ve personally prayed shopping lists disguised as prayer. Over the years I’ve learned all the right religious words. I know how to pray a completely AUTHORIZED, yet completely UNAUTHENTIC prayer.
I can pray out loud!
We sometimes think our prayers need to sound lofty in order to reach heaven, and so we try to impress everybody within hearing distance with our verbal rightness.

When someone doesn’t or won’t pray out loud, we think it’s an obvious sign of immaturity, Surely it’s just a phase and once they grow up a bit they will start sharing their prayers with the rest of us.

We don’t like silent prayer.
But, wait…here’s the deal…
WHO are we praying to?
Are we praying to the guy standing next to us?
Are we talking to the ONE who sees the silent?
In our awfully loud world silence makes us nervous, but solitude is a gift from God.
Being able to just get quiet with God is actually a sign of a deep intimacy.
When I was a kid, I had a “silent dog whistle” that only my dog could hear. It sounded on a frequency that only a dog could hear. What if the prayers that we just can’t say out loud don’t go unheard? What if the prayers that are too personal and painful to proclaim are listened to on a whole different frequency that only God hears?
What if the prayers, hopes, and dreams that we can’t seem to push past our throats are heard by God? What if silent prayers find themselves surrounded by the thick presence of a God who leaves a beautiful fragrance in our lives?
What if the strongest prayers are the ones that only God can hear?
Maybe it’s time to drop some serious SBDs.