For the love of cargo shorts.

Posted: August 25, 2016 in Uncategorized

For the love of cargo shorts.

Brace yourself, this is going to be shocking!
I’m an old man who wears shorts EVERY day.
EVERY single day, even…GASP!…during the winter.
I’m aware of the haters, the fashion nazis, those who believe that grown men should dress like grown men.
I rebel against that idea…with my pants.
It’s a personal pant revolution. My knees have declared their independence. VIVA LA SHORT!!
So I wear shorts.

I’m not afraid to make a completely questionable fashion choice, because for me, shorts are completely functional fashion.

There are many reasons that I don’t like long pants.
For starters, I’m 5 feet tall (and almost the same width). I’m a chunky little brother. I have NEVER EVER in my life been able to go into a store and buy a pair of jeans and just wear them. They all have to be altered, hemmed, sewed up before I can think about wearing them. The fabric that has been cut off my pants over the years could clothe the entire population of Nebraska. My mom and wife have both hemmed countless legs! I’ve spent a lot at tailors, trying to get my pants to look semi normal. I don’t have to get shorts hemmed. I can wear them right away. It’s no fun to wait for pants.
So I wear shorts.

It’s also for safety reasons, Skinny jeans are never gonna be an option. I couldn’t squeeze my portly body into them without bursting a spleen or some other almost vital body part.
So I wear shorts.
Actually they are more like capris…manpris.
I love my manpris.

It’s also all about comfort.
Rather than conform, I go for comfort. I have nothing to prove, I’m comfortable with me and I choose to be comfortable in my choice of pants.
There is nothing like the feeling of the breeze on my naked calves, I call it “free legging”.
There is also nothing like the freedom of wearing what you want to wear, just because it fits you.
So I wear shorts.

For the khaki wearing horde that say I should grow up…stop dressing like a 9 year old boy…be professional. I say I put on my big boy pants, they just happen to be shorter than yours!
I wear shorts.

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