All the FEELS.

Posted: August 27, 2018 in Postcards from Cancerland., Uncategorized

All the Feels…

This weekend I experienced every possible flavor of feeling.

I felt pain…

Once friendly body parts became strangers this weekend…

My tongue began to feel like a scratchy, ill fitting accessory, like a second hand wool sock. 

My hands became cold and clunky, and they ached. It felt like I was constantly wearing HULK hands that were lined with thumbtacks. 

I felt manly…kinda…

I lost my weird beard a while back, but I’m happy to report that I still have the thirteen scraggly chest hairs that I’ve had most of my adult life. They are hanging in there. 

I felt humbled and hopeful…

I cried warm tears of gratitude as I realized that God is using my crazy story to bring hope and joy to others. What a privilege! 

I felt sorrow…

I cried hot tears of grief as I realized that some dear young friends have suffered an unimaginable loss this weekend. I pray that they would feel unexplainable comfort. 

I felt pure joy…

I got to spend quite a bit of time with my granddaughter, the Moonpie, this weekend. She makes my heart smile, even in the middle of all the other feelings. When I watch her giggle and try new things, I feel fresh wonder. When I try to keep up with her as she stomps around the room, I feel old, yet brand new at the same time. 

I feel grace…

Raw, ridiculous grace. 

It covers and carries me through all of the feelings. 

Grace brings beauty from the ashes, 

but first things have to burn.

And sometimes, that stings.

I feel it. 

All the feels…

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