(with well seasoned apologies to Dr. Seuss!)
People told me that this would happen,
that my tastebuds would encounter a fright.
But I thought, I’m a chunky little dude,
I’ve always had a very healthy appetite.
I like food, I always have. It’s really no secret.
But, MAN! chemo-tongue is really, truly a thing,
that is right now, keeping me from enjoying
my delicious cheeseburger with an onion ring.
OH!
THE TASTES YOU’LL TASTE!
Your food will taste like metal.
they told me, and sadly, that is true.
But it’s more than that! It’s biting into
an ugly unpleasantness I never knew.
Lunch meat tastes like a old Chevrolet bumper.
And fresh fruit tastes like the license plate,
Not that a rusty Chevy license plate is
actually something that I’ve ever ate.
Water tastes weird, coffee like sludge.
And grilled chicken? Don’t get me started!
It tastes like the pungent smell of when
a 47 pound geriatric goat has farted!
Eggs taste like nothing, it’s just not right.
And brother! It seems like such a crime,
when my dearly beloved tacos
taste like crunchy metallic slime.
You can salt and season
But, no matter what you do,
The flavor on your plastic spoon
will cause you to say EWWWWW!
I should eat something I’ve never tried.
Maybe, I should try tofu or kale.
Then if it’s different, I wouldn’t know,
It might just taste kind of stale.
I hunger for the day
When my senses are back in sync,
And I can devour scrambled eggs,
and a well done sausage link.
OH!
THE TASTES YOU’LL TASTE!
carbonated joy 