The Driving School of Hard Knocks.

Posted: May 12, 2018 in Uncategorized


I was impatiently waiting in line for driving school.
I was ready to drive…
Preferably FAST!
I was 10 years old.
I was waiting in line for the bumper cars at Bell’s Amusement Park in Tulsa.
I loved the bumper cars, they made me feel very mature. After all I WAS driving and I was learning valuable transportation skills.
You don’t have to be coordinated or super brave to drive bumper cars. You just need to be able to sorta steer and press down on a metal pedal.
I was very concerned that I would be able to reach the pedals. I wore my tallest shoes, it worked out!
I had a ticket to ride!
We all ran to get the shiniest car, because it had to be the fastest. Hopefully it was red.
I quickly buckled up and surveyed my competitors. Where were my buddies?
I waited impatiently as it took FOREVER for everyone to find a car and get ready.
Then it would start…
The crackling static of the poles that connected the cars to the ceiling. It sounded kinda like a bug zapper.
We screeched around the floor.
Bumper cars are like a demolition derby for the whole family. You get to ram into complete strangers. You try to keep it friendly and avoid knocking dental work loose.
It was awesome! We were moving at the blistering speed  of 3 miles per hour. At one point, I thought the wind was in my hair, but it turns out that someone had thrown a Pepsi at my head.
The Bell’s bumper car school of driving was very beneficial.
Here are a few things I learned…

It really is important to keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times or things could get ugly.
Try to stay away from the mean people, the teenagers and the occasional broken adult who are not out there to bump but to bruise. You figure out who they are pretty quick, and you definitely tried to dodge those people.
You shouldn’t try to drive and eat a snow-cone at the same time
When  you get stuck…and you will inevitably get stuck. You will run up against the wall or find yourself unable to move because you are in a crowd crash. When you get stuck, you will need a good friend to help you get unstuck.
And now you know my secret…
My first driving school was a bumper car ride.
That is where I first developed my driving abilities.
AND that is one of the reasons why, today, my wife does most of the driving.

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