Bob the very deflated Snowman.

Posted: December 3, 2017 in Uncategorized



Bob was an angry inflatable Snowman.

You really couldn’t tell that he was angry by looking at him because he always had the same silly expression on his face. The maker had put a permanent smile on his round rubber face.

He wasn’t always angry.
Just a few weeks ago, He had been taken off the shelf at the big busy store. He was bought and taken home in a minivan.
He was so hopeful.
He was ready to get outside the box and spread Christmas cheer. It’s what he was created for!! He was ready to wave his latex limb arms at children and shake his Snowman belly if the wind picked up. His future was so bright and full of promise.
But now, weeks later he was angry and a little cynical.

He wasn’t angry because he was only 4 feet tall (and much of that height was his super nifty top hat). Bob realized that inflatables come in all different sizes and shapes and colors. That is what made humans want to drive around and see them. If every inflatable was a 6 foot tall reindeer, it would be a very short drive.

He was not angry because he was a snowman in Swampflower, South Carolina, a place where it never snowed. This caused some people to accuse him of being fake. The oddly disproportionate 12 foot tall Santa Claus across the street gave him judgmental looks with his crazy eyes. That guy was a real jerk, that irritated him. But, it wasn’t the reason he was mad.

He was angry because every SINGLE night about 11:15 pm, the homeowner would step outside in his basketball shorts and crocs. He would bend down and, with a grunt, unplug the green extension cord that gave Bob life.
This left Bob quite deflated…
Within seconds he would hit the dirt. He would lay there in the grass until the next night when the sun was setting. That’s when one of the homeowners would plug him back him.
So he was only inflated a few hours each night.
The rest of time he lay in the front yard listless and lifeless. He never fully experienced a morning or afternoon. He heard the birds singing, but never saw them fly. He heard the school bus stop, but never saw the kids. He spent his days with his face down on the ground, all twisted and turned inward. It was a miserable existence for Bob. He wasn’t content being a PART-TIME purveyor of peace and goodwill, he was better than that.
It was shameful.

It really just didn’t seem fair, the Grinch down the street was left plugged in ALL the time. He was never forced to shrink 3 sizes. He just stood there with his menacing grin never missing out on ANYTHING.

Then one fateful January morning he got unplugged, folded up and put into his original box. He was put on a shelf in the garage where he wouldn’t feel the air for about 11 months. It was embarrassing.

He had plenty of time in his cramped cardboard home to reflect on life, liberty and inflatability.

He pondered…
Time outside the box is limited, you have to make the most of it. He should have spent less time feeling sorry for himself, and more time just trying to make people happy.
He learned that true life only comes when you are plugged into an outside power source.
When you live disconnected you crash hard.


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