carbonated joy

From deep in the Hidden Valley came the cowboy.
Sam Salad was his name.
He rode into town on a trusty steed named crouton. Like most cowhands, He was wearing ranch dressing.
He was looking for his arch nemesis, Twinkie the Kid. Years of fighting had driven a wedge between him and the Kid. He found him, sponging around near the saloon. Sam spit in the street and said in a voice as thick as blue cheese, “lettuce settle this once and for all!” The Kid giggled and said “I’m gonna toss you Salad!” He grabbed his pearl handled Salad shooter, But suddenly, the Kid slipped on some oil and vinegar in the middle of the street. He hit the dirt so hard that he artichoked. He left a trail of cream filling in amongst the dust and tumbleweeds. It wasn’t a sweet sight.
Sam’s work was done so he tipped his hat to the Romaine sisters, threw his bacon bits into the saddle and he rode off into the sunset towards his garden on the thousand island.