The HAMMOCK of TERROR!!

Posted: October 28, 2016 in Uncategorized

Yesterday, for a moment, I was scared for my life!
I wasn’t being held at gun point or even chased by a pack of wild poodles.
I tried to sit in a hammock.
It was TERRIFYING!!
Several things combined to make this situation perilous, the delicate nature of the hammock, my complete lack of coordination, and my…umm…unique body shape.
I tried to carefully maneuver my chunky little body into the hammock. How hard could it be? But, gravity was my enemy. I floundered around, flustered, frantically spinning and swaying. I finally ended up wrapped up in raw hammock. I looked like an overstuffed hairy tamale.
The worst thing was that I wasn’t alone…so along with fear, I felt embarrassment and shame.
My super compassionate wife and daughter were in the back yard with me. BUT, as I wrestled with the hammock, they were laughing too hard to help…thanks.
As I lay there, I did have one helper. My daughter’s 90 pound Great Pyrenees, Sampson, walked over and put a soggy rawhide on my face. That was comforting.
Not to be over dramatic, but my life hung in the balance, just literally centimeters off the ground.
It almost felt like I was in a weird cocoon, waiting to emerge a beautiful butterfly. Instead, I fumbled and stumbled out of the hateful hammock with an incredible lack of grace or motor skills.
I survived, I have the grass stains to prove it!!
I stared death in its evil woven fabric face and I lived to swing again.
AND, I WILL face my challenge again! Because, I am a man, DARN IT!
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, BUT, sometime in the next two weeks, when no one is watching, I will face the hammock again!
Pray for me.

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