I HATE CILANTRO.
(Please notice the use of all caps to indicate the passionate level of my hatred)
Some think of salsa and cilantro
Like the Lone Ranger and Tonto,
You can’t have one without the other.
But, please listen to this Caucasian brother,
Cilantro is like my secret herb kryptonite.
I eat it and suddenly I’m not alright.
My belly starts to twist and churn,
My head begins to pound and burn.
To me, it is a wicked, wicked weed.
A bully that gives me a nosebleed.
I completely love a big bowl of guacamole,
But the wicked weed makes it unholy.
I honestly think it tastes a bit like old soap,
Yet, people say it’s the great coriander hope.
If you could keep it off my burrito,
That would be really super neat-o!
If you are a fan of cilantro, that is fine.
You can still be a good friend of mine.
I still think that you can be totally great,
I just won’t be eating off your plate.
carbonated joy 