The Third Round.

Posted: September 3, 2018 in Postcards from Cancerland., Uncategorized

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The introductions have been made…
“In this corner…straight from the pit of hell…the belly bully.”
“In this corner…in the boxing trunks that don’t fit quite right…Clubber Lang.”
The scruffy little fighter has two rounds under his belt. He sits on the wooden stool and tries to catch his breath.
Round three is about to begin.
There are so many lights and noises competing for space in the fighter’s head.
The fighter shakes his head and his attention goes to the crowd…
The fighter sees someone holding an awesome hand painted sign that reads “YOU GOT THIS!”
It’s such a sweet thoughtful thought, but the fighter knows it really should read “YOU GOT HELP!”
The nonstop barrage of poison punches to the bully have left the fighter a tired he has never known.
As he waits for the bell to ring, his mind begins to wander…
We are ALMOST halfway through this journey.
That causes me to pause and reflect.

I am reminded…

At the beginning of the fight there were so many questions.
There is always one big question that comes up.
The natural tendency is to ask…
“WHY ME?!”
“Why is this happening to me?”
BUT…
That question is quicksand.
It leaves you sinking in a thousand other questions.
And you can’t fight from a sinking position.
You’ve got to stand.
The question that I needed to ask was…
“WHAT NOW?!”
“What do I do now?”
I asked, I got an answer…
I heard the sweet scruffy voice of my trainer…
“Fight outloud with joy, boy!”
(The Holy Spirit frequently calls me boy, I don’t mind).
We didn’t know what to expect, we still don’t.
Each round is different. Last round left me totally punch drunk. Little things like thinking and articulating became challenges.
When I tried to walk distances, I’ve become clunky and wobbly at the same time. Basically, I walked like a toddler Frankenstein’s monster.
I’m carried by the prayers and kindness of friends and strangers.
It’s hard to explain but I tangibly feel the prayers. It’s like I’m literally being lifted by love.
I think back to the beginning when we were scared…
Completely, utterly afraid…
We knew the financial sucker punch we were about to receive because of medical bills and decreasing income.
Worry had us in a suffocating chokehold.
Some unbelievably dear friends started and responded to a GoFundMe for us.
They have busted the fear and lifted a huge load off of our shoulders.
We will never be able to fully express the appreciation that floods our hearts.
I’ve received so many cool cards and gifts and smiles. It has left me with no doubt that “l’ve got this” because “l’ve got help”.
I clear my mind and I focus on round three and I know…
On the weak days and the week days, when I find myself on the ropes, I remember that my strength does not come from self or circumstance.
It comes from God.
HIS joy makes me strong! I hit my knees and draw a line and I refuse to allow anything that didn’t give me my joy to steal my joy.
Strength-suckers, you’ve been served!

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