Wagoning is NOT a Crime.

Posted: March 26, 2018 in Uncategorized

I have a crazy recreational idea…
People are into a lot of different outdoorsy activities that involve wheels.
There are skateboarders, and rollerbladers, and bikers.
That’s all good, but I think there is room for more.
I have a revolutionary recreational idea…


I want to ride in a spacious red wagon (with a cup holder) as it is pulled by someone younger than me…why cant that be a thing?
Picture it with me…
Instead of skate parks there would be wagon parks.
Each city could have well lighted wagon trails.
We could form local wagon gangs. We could cruise around and listen to our own theme song,
“Born to be Pulled”.
I have to say that, even though I don’t have the motor skills to rollerblade, I would be a natural at wagoning.
Because of my vertically challenged height, I would need a low rider wagon.
I would wear a special protective wagoner helmet and do semi-impressive tricks, like a modified “almost wheelie”, and the death defying “HEY LOOK, I’m standing up in the wagon while it’s moving” trick.
Eventually, I could be a professional wagoner! I could get sponsors NASCAR style and slap advertisements all over my wagon. BOOGITY! BOOGITY!
EVERY day would be a parade! I could wave and throw candy and cheap trinkets to onlookers. Nobody gets left behind because wagons don’t move very fast and they don’t require special skills.

It could be the next really BIG recreational thing.

I just have to convince someone to pull me around…that might be tricky.

In the meantime, I think I’m going to take a walk.

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