In my dream…
It is Sunday, February 4th, 2018.
Super Bowl Sunday.
People are gathered in Minneapolis to witness Super Bowl LII…
The Eagles versus the Patriots.
Millions of others are gathered around their TVs. Many are only there for the commercials, halftime show, or hot wings.
BUT…
Unbeknownst to the sports world, Jerry Jones has secretly funded a sports-science experiment. Mr. Jones has hired the nation’s foremost experts on time travel. They have been working for months in a secret underground laboratory hidden beneath an unassuming Whataburger in Grapevine, Texas. These brilliant scientists have developed a fully operational global time machine that is driven by a flux capacitor. The time machine is fueled by Pepsi, Doritos dust, and a Diana Ross cassette.
After much hype, it’s finally game time.
BUT…
just as Pink starts to magnificently sing the National Anthem, a mysterious man in a blue and gray trench coat hits a red button and strange things begin to happen…
(For dramatic effect: please move your head back and forth as you read this part.)
Suddenly the game changes…
The laws of time, space, and football are violated.
The entire globe is transported back in time to January 28, 1996
Suddenly, Pink is gone and it’s Vanessa Williams singing at Super Bowl XXX!
Tom Brady is a backup quarterback at the University of Michigan.
Instead of Brady there is Troy Aikman. He is joined by Michael Irvin, Deion Sanders, Emmitt Smith, Dermontti Dawson, Kevin Greene, Rod Woodson. Hall of Famers suddenly in their prime again!
It’s the Dallas Cowboys versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. It’s refried awesomeness as The Cowboys defeat the Steelers by the score of 27–17…AGAIN…for the first time!
AND…
The Super Bowl is Super again.
Through the magic of a wrinkle (and sprinkle) in time, America’s Team regains it’s rightful place.
Time is rewritten in my dreams.
AND…
then I wake up on Monday with Doritos dust in my beard and I discover that Super Bowl LII was never played.
The Patriots didn’t raise a flag, the Eagles didn’t fly.
Tom Brady is so distraught that he immediately retires from football and becomes a water purifier salesman in Topeka, Kansas.
Deion Sanders comes out of retirement.
AND…
I become the first ever male Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.
This all begins a 15 year championship streak for the Cowboys.
That is my big game dream.
carbonated joy 