Sometimes life is crunchy.

Posted: November 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

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Early this morning I was on my way to a meeting,
I stopped at QuikTrip to get a large coffee to kickstart my brain. It seemed like every other unnaturally early morning. I got my caffeine and went on my way, headed to the office.
BUT, EVERYTHING WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE!!
(How’s that for a super dramatic teaser?)
I was pulling out of the intersection to get onto the highway, I had the green light, I was going, but I heard somebody honking. I looked up, It was an ambulance, no lights, no siren, but, the driver was just frantically honking to clear the intersection. So, I came to a quick stop to let the ambulance through…
The guy behind me did not.
He looked over to see who was honking, then he looked around to discover that…
I…
Had…
Stopped.
CRUUNNCCHHH!!! THUDCH!!! SCREECH!!!! CRRRAAASSSHHH!!! (These are the actual sound effects that I heard! I recorded them in my brain, I will probably never forget them)
The suddenly obvious problem was that he was much larger than me.
He was driving a Dodge Ram Pickup.
I was scooting along in my Scion Xb.
It was NOT a fair fight.
It turns out that “Dodge Ram” is a verb AND a noun.
My QT coffee flew all over. There was glass and CDs flying through the air. It was surreal and all too real!
My beloved Scion Xb was jacked up, his truck got…one…little…scratch.
My Scion…
I love that little strange car!!
I REALLY love that car!
We bought it in Texas in 2006. I saw it at the state fair and I fell in love with it.
It looks like a clown car.
It looks (and smells) like me, it’s short and squatty. It smells of beard oil and tacos.
It is like an optical illusion, it looks small but it is unbelievably roomy inside.
Some people are repulsed by my car, no seriously, they tell me so!!
They think it is odd looking. (Once again, it looks like me…umm, thanks!)
I don’t care what people think.
It ISN’T pretty, but it IS paid for!!
I seriously love that car, it’s my favorite car ever (AND I once owned a Camaro!!)
As of right now, I wait to hear the fate of my Scion, but it doesn’t look good.

The dude who was driving the ginormous pickup was a real cool guy. It’s a weird way to make friends, but, you can get to know some one well if you wait in the dark for the highway patrol for over a hour. Sometimes, the people who hit you aren’t your enemies. They just don’t see you there.

It was the battle of the vehicles, a classic David and Goliath story. But, this time David got his butt kicked (and crunched in!)

I called Diana and she came and helped navigate through the early morning nastiness. She spent a lot of time on the phone with insurance. My wife is awesome.

We dropped the car off at the body shop. The shop owner looked at the car and just shook his head. They told me to remove anything valuable or important. That’s probably not a good thing.

Here are my takeaways (or driveaways):

I AM alive!! That’s good! Stuff is replaceable, even stuff you love. Souls aren’t replaceable. I’m still kicking and ready to tell stories, unleash joy, make art, and meet my first grandkid next Spring.

I think this is solid proof that early morning meetings are evil and are responsible for the destruction of innocent property.

Sometimes you collide with strangers, figuratively and literally. When that happens, don’t be a jerk.

In a battle between a large truck and a small clown car, bet on the truck.

And, now I’m looking for a new form of transportation…maybe a skateboard or a scooter or a Shetland pony.
Giddy Up!

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