carbonated joy

Sometimes I get Identity amnesia.
The littlest doubt or critique can set it off.
My psyche is slippery.
It’s like a cheesy old movie where the hero gets bumped on the head and forgets who he is.
My self image can get bumped and thumped.
I forget who I am.
Identity amnesia.
I’m a bird in an opened cage held captive by my inability to see my wings.
Truth is traded for lies.
I read the wrong name tags.
I lose my self.
In pursuit of better i forget that I’m enough.
I have to daily remind myself who I am.
I have to revisit the place where I was given a new name.
Where I learned that I matter.
I run to my Maker, my Father, the Name Giver.
My Maker never says you aren’t enough.
My Heavenly Father never says why can’t you be like your brother?
Instead He whispers to my soul let me tell you who YOU are.
I read the words that are fearfully and wonderfully engraved on my heart.
Sometimes it’s fuzzy and it requires a baptism in holy fire so that the layers of insecurity, cynicism and apathy are burned away.
Then I can see the words again…
Child
Beloved
Forgiven
Accepted
Loved
Enough
I need to pause long enough everyday to remember WHO I am and WHOSE I am.

My prayer: Father, Let me BE the one that you BElove and BEhold.